The fantastic blog 'hot brass'  by British Trombone player David Read recently published a somewhat 'uncharacteristic' posting and it was just so good I had to post it here. I suggest you bookmarks Davids blog as it is regularly updated and he just seems to find info that doesn't seem to be anywhere else on the net:

Educational Playmates(r) is proud to announce the newest in edutainment: The Talking Trombone Teacher Doll. This revolutionary doll simulates a real-life trombone teacher, and through our sophisticated CriticFun(tm) software, this doll not only learns the sound of your trombone playing, but tailors its lessons to your progress.

Features include lessons on Rochut book one, Tuba Mirum, Bolero, and basic slide technique. (Intonation lesson not available with this model.)

Sample phrases include:

* "I think you should go with a bigger mouthpiece"
* "Nobody's playing 88H's any more"
* "You'll never win an audition if you play it like that"
* "You need to get a Thayer conversion"
* "I'm sick of teaching, let's go get a beer"

Talking Trombone Teacher Doll comes in Plush (Approachable) and Rubber (Spineless), and with your choice of outfit:

Classical Trombone Teacher Doll:

* Polyester pants, golf shirt, and golf hat.
* Tuxedo - Only available with Gigging Trombone Teacher Doll (supplies limited)

Jazz Trombone Teacher Doll:

* Vintage 1970's clothes (only 1 outfit available)

In addition, you may choose a joke/anecdote repertoire for your trombone teacher:

Choose from the following topics:

* Really bad gigs I've played
* I remember when we did ____ to the conductor
* The most I ever drank
* When I was on the road with Kenton......
* Politically incorrect jokes

Order Talking Trombone Teacher today for only $175 for four lessons, or $100 for ten lessons.

Talking Trombone Teacher also comes with a Repertoire Pak (specify Tenor or Bass) with the following pieces:

* Rimsky-Korsakov Concerto
* The Ride
* Mahler 3
* David Concerto
* Blue Bells
* Rochut Books 1-3
* Arban's Method
* Blazevich Clef Studies